Forgiveness means opening the doors for the new way of relationships. It is an open door which gives the opportunity to see offender with love. Forgiveness does not allow any hurt be neither the final word, nor the full stop. It writes only comma after which new relationships should begin. In the same time, does it imply that forgiveness simply means to forget what was done and to move forward? There is quite spreading belief that to forgive and to forget are the same. As I observed, the believers of forgetting very often refer to the passage from Isaiah where the Lord says, I will not remember your sins (Isa. 43: 25b). However, it implies to hold the person s transgressions against him or her no longer. To make the equality between to forgive and to forget is a big mistake. There are no commandments in the Bible as forgive and forget. They can not be merged.considers that people in practicing of forgiveness should develop a special kind of remembrance. As it was mentioned before, forgiveness is just one step in the way of reconciliation. It is an ongoing process. This process sometimes can be very complicated, because it is important to take into consideration different feelings, thoughts, and behaviors which can be in the person. Therefore, it takes time to manage this heavy package. Following this consideration, forgiveness is not forgetting; it is remembering in a different and new way. It is very often just impossible to forget what was done. There are different questions, How could parents forget that a drunk driver killed their child? How could a woman forget the violent assault of rape? How can a spouse forget the adultery of a partner? However, forgiveness is a decision for a new future of someone s life. It is an attitude not to repair the past experiences, but the preparation for a better way in the future. This way allows what was, be gone; what will be, come; what is now, be. It implies to be set free from the control of the past. It is a process of healing our memory.the same time, this way of healing and restoration should go again through the painful process of reconsidering our wounds, and hard work with our memory that holds pain still alive in us. As Augsburger points, all pain and hurt should be accepted in the emotional level as well. In this context, it is crucial to keep our forgiveness alive. It demands a conscious and intentional decision, because our memory at any time can be resurrected. Solomon Schimmel says that in order to forgive, you have to first remember your forgiveness toward other person. It means that the forgiver is holding no longer that painful past experiences. They do not have the power in the present. It is remembering without carrying the feeling of resentment.says, As I remember, recall, review, recycle, rework past experiences, I am holding on to them, and it shows that resentment is still in the heart. Nevertheless, resentment could be called as God s good gift. Resentment is natural feeling as a response on harm. However, it always should be moving to the end. There is a big danger in this feeling. People very often like to play with resentment. They are acting with their past as it is present.the context of resuscitation of resentment, people need to ask themselves, What hurt is keeping me from being free? What disappointment do I keep revisiting? One of the answers could be that the human beings often enjoy keeping resentment in their hearts. I met many people who prefer from time to time to return to their pain, and consider it again and again. Making our wounds fresh is a breach of the promise of forgiveness which we gave to the offender. It is easier to keep alive our pain than our forgiving decision. However, the true forgiveness demands to say good-by to the resentment and bitterness. This simple word has a great power. It implies that one situation is finished and another is beginning. The person needs to have willingness to break this connection with his or her resentment. Therefore, to forgive someone is not always so easy. Forgiveness requires from us to be the hard-workers. Wadell considers that a large part of the responsibility for forgiveness lies not on the shoulders of the friends we sometimes need to forgive but with us who need to offer it. , Forgiveness is not a treasure which we once can gain and then we need just to hold it in our hands. It is an active movement toward. Forgiveness should become and be developed in our trait of character as Christians. It could even be defined as the virtue of forgiveness. The life of forgiveness is a choice. The starting point of this choice is love which reveals in the valuing of the offender. This decision of reevaluation leads to our inner liberation from the feelings and emotions which suppress us. It is deciding to see, think, feel, want and act the wrongdoer in a new way with love and value. To make this choice can b...
